Relationships

Grant Montgomery: Loss of relationship

The loss of a close friend can be tough. The loss of a spouse or long term relationship can be devastating.

We start out life expecting to make loyal friends, to keep our marriages together, to raise perfect children, and to perform our work without error. When such fail, we can become depressed, fearful or anxious, and judge ourselves.

Feelings of meaninglessness often descend upon us after a loss of a relationship. In the depression following the loss, we not only grieve but go into isolation. Not unlike a recovering alcoholic, when we are just pulling out of a divorce or separation, we need support from others around us, months or even sometimes years later.

But while someone struggling with alcohol or substance abuse may find acceptance and help in Alcoholics Anonymous or equivalent, where does someone turn who is going through a divorce?

Speaking from experience, I found the answer was simply in finding others who shared a similar culture, where I did not have to feel alone or isolated in my situation as a single dad raising a teen daughter. My source of acceptance was a group of single parents who got together with their kids in casual settings. While the kids occupied themselves, the parents took the opportunity to speak with the other adults present. Friendships naturally formed.

If you have gone through a divorce, or lost a close friend or loved one, I hope you find something of inspiration on these pages.

Read Marrying our spouse’s mother!

 

Grant Montgomery is Director of Programs for Family Care (FCF)